August 28, 2023
It’s been a hot minute since I wrote my last blog. If you are new to my blog, you will learn quickly – like, right after reading this one – that I am pretty open, honest, and often vulnerable in these blog posts. I write for a lot of reasons, but one of the main reasons is to process or sit with things that weigh heavily on my mind as mom, and another is to hopefully relate to the place in which y’all are as preschool parents.
So what better to start with than a blog about the beginning of the school year? I’ve actually been straight on the struggle bus with the start of school, which pains me in some ways. I mean, I actually love the start of school. I loved school as a kid, both my parents were teachers, and as an educator, I’ve always equated the “new year” to Labor Day weekend and the start of school. It drives my husband crazy, who goes solely by the actual calendar and believes (as most people do) that January is the true start of the new year. LOL.
However, I will say that in my role as mom, and now as a preschool director, there are times that the stress, exhaustion, and emotions of the “getting-ready-to-go-back-to-school” time hover just as high as that of the holidays or the dreaded “May-cember”. Between getting everything ready for preschool and then getting my own children ready, my nerves are shot, my anxiety is high, and I’m left with maybe not the best version of myself.
But look, here’s the real deal – being a preschool director AND being a mom often conflict heavily with each other, particularly during this time of the year. Y’all – as an educator, I have all the confidence that the things we do in the preschool are educationally sound, developmentally appropriate, and logistically necessary. I work really hard to reassure and assure all of you – our preschool families – about these things, too. Right?
- Quick goodbyes – I promise everyone will stop crying!
- Friends in different classes? (they will make new friends, I promise!)
- I promise – they will eat something other than peanut butter!
Yes. I 100% know and believe this in my professional role, but when it comes down to it, I’m a mom with a huge momma’s heart and I only want to make sure my children are OKAY. Because as parents, that’s all we want. And even though I know the right things to say, it takes more than just my own reassurance and knowledge to calm my own momma’s heart. Even for ME. I’m right there in the trenches with you.
Case in point:
Last week, Lily and Luke found out their teachers for the upcoming 4th and 2nd grade. First, we held our breaths. Second, once we learned teachers, we frantically scrambled to find out which of their friends were in their classes. Next, the tears started to fall when Luke learned that his 3 best friends in the whole world were in one class together, and he was in another class (by the way, with a teacher he doesn’t know who is new to his school and not the one he wanted because he wanted the teacher his sister had in the second grade). Finally, we sunk into our emotions. What did my mommy heart do? It sunk. It raged! It filled with worry and anxiety for my buddy. At that moment, everything in my head about the work I do as a preschool director and how difficult it is to make perfect class lists exited the building, while all my mommy instincts to protect the happiness of my child rushed in.
Of course it did. I’m a mom first, y’all.
I held Luke in my arms and let him cry. I told him that it was okay to feel sad and disappointed, and it was okay to cry about it. To get those feelings out. Because once he got those feelings of sadness and disappointment out, he could make room for the happiness and excitement of a new school year and a new adventure with both old and new friends.
Do you remember the song from Brownie and Girl Scouts – “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.”? We sang it.
Then Luke recovered and I sat back and thought about it. When I say I can relate, I mean it – and I hope that comes through. All we want for our children is for them to be happy. All we want for our children is to know that they are okay. And we get stuck in uncontrollable situations that will not allow us to ensure ourselves that they will either be happy or okay. And that is a tough place to sit.
But here’s the good news. Even if all that I know as a preschool director does not always reassure me as a mom, I am reassured by God. I’m grateful for God’s constant presence and the knowledge that He is with my children, especially when I cannot be there with them. I am reassured by His guiding hand that will steer my children into the right direction. I’m reassured that He is also with me, as I sit and worry about my children on their first day of school (as I write this blog), knowing that He is my calming force, and hopefully is the same for other parents on the first day of school or any other “firsts”. He’s got me and He’s got you.
And the other good news? We’ve got each other. And I’ll never stop reassuring and assuring you guys.
I read this Bible verse every morning, which has carried me through the darkest of times:
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Joshua 1:9
Here’s hoping for a great “back-to-school” time for everyone. The kids WILL be okay (I promise as a preschool director and as a mom).
Until next time,
Jess