March 24, 2023
Fourteen years ago, my husband and I went downtown to watch my uncle get his head shaved for an organization called St. Baldrick’s, a foundation that raises money for children’s cancer research. We had never heard of it before, but we found ourselves on Glenwood Avenue, cheering for people as their heads were shaved and donating random amounts of money for crazy things like eyebrow shavings or mutton chop shavings. Out of the blue, my very non-impulsive husband made a very impulsive decision. He was really moved by the stories of the children that the St. Baldrick’s Foundation had helped and the way their treatment or cancer journeys were impacted by the work of this foundation. And with that, Matt shaved his head.
But it wasn’t his last time. The next year, the year after that, and the years and years after that, every single spring, Matt raised money and shaved his head in order to support St. Baldrick’s mission to help children suffering from cancer. Year after year, he raised money for an organization never knowing how it would personally impact our family, 12 years after he shaved for the first time.
In the summer of 2021, our son, Luke, was diagnosed with Embryonal Rhabdomyosarcoma at the age of 5. Within moments, we became one of the families who Matt shaved for during all of those years. Within seconds, Luke became a child whose picture we could envision on any St. Baldrick’s poster or social media post. It was terrifying.
In August 2021, knowing the inevitable, we hosted a St. Baldrick’s fundraiser in our backyard, and took the opportunity to shave Luke’s head, along with Matt’s and multiple others who joined us in our yard on that August day. It was one of the hardest days of those early cancer moments – because to me, Luke’s bald head represented the fact that he was sick. It was a very tangible symbol that my son had cancer.
Luke’s bald head stayed just that way until the winter of 2022, when we began to see sprouts of hair poking through his beautiful scalp. Matt kept his head shaved the entire time Luke’s head was bald, and only began growing it back out last summer, when Luke’s hair began to cover his head again.
Luke’s hair is now a representation of his health. It represents that we are in this, albeit weird, post-cancer time of our lives now, and to me, the longer it grew, the healthier he was. Two weeks ago, after telling me that he could not see anymore when he was playing soccer (lol), Luke got his first haircut since his August 2021 shave. It’s nice to see his face and he looks very handsome, but that haircut was really tough for me, y’all. It was yet another reminder creeping into my everyday life about what my everyday life looked like last year – a time I would give anything not to go back to.
Not only did Luke get his haircut, Matt is also back at it – shaving his head for the 14th(!) time to help raise money for children’s cancer research. The kids will cheer, people will donate random amounts of money to try to shave his eyebrow or give him a mullet, and he’ll sit there proudly while the razor takes off his hair to honor those children who don’t have a choice about what is on top of their head.
You never know the ways in which you live your life will impact you down the road. To me, this was all God’s plan, to help us stumble upon this organization, to put Matt and our family in the path of raising awareness for this special cause, and to then be at the mercy of what this organization could do for us and our son. This is just another reminder for us about the journey we have been on since Summer 2021 and another reminder of the way that God truly works in our lives, whether or not we are even fully aware of his presence. I don’t know how much I used to ask how God worked in my life before. I don’t know how much I used to pay attention to how God worked in my life before. But these days? I ask. I pay attention. The more I take the time to look, the more I see it.
God is working in all our lives. He works here in the preschool, in our community, in our homes.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11
This gives me great comfort – I hope it helps you a little, too.
Until next time,
Jess